Rocky V
By Peter John Gardner
Stallone's original draft for the script of what was, at the time, the final installment of the Rocky saga had our hero die at the end. Now artistically speaking, this wouldn't be a bad idea as it would give closure to a series that was running way past its welcome in the public eye. Stallone had the cajones to kill off the character that brought him success in Hollywood, and I sort of applaud him for that. Studios interfered by saying that it would be like killing Superman, so the ending was rewritten with Balboa victorious in the final fight. I can see it both ways, but I'm glad that Balboa stayed alive in the final fight so that this godawful movie wouldn't mark the end of what was originally an earnest and heroic character.
Not breaking formula, this one picks up right where the last film left off. After the fight with Ivan Drago at the end of Rocky IV, Balboa has suffered irreversible brain damage. If he continues fighting, he'll become even more fucked in the head. So Rocky is supposed to be a little loopy during this film, but the problem with this is that the character already comes across as retarded, so the only way the script can show that Rock-o has brain damage is by throwing in extra "yo". Rocky said "yo" in the previous films, but nowhere near the ridiculousness in this one. Rocky pretty much says "yo" for everything.
"Welcome home, Rocky!"
"Yo!"
"I love you"
"Yo."
"You've suffered severe trauma to the head"
"Yo" :-(
An obnoxious boxing promoter named Duke is Rocky's main antagonist throughout the film. He's played as a really silly version of Don King, and it's hard to keep a straight face whenever this guy comes onscreen. He wants Rocky back in the ring just for the revenue that it would bring. Adrian flat out refuses, but Rocky can't keep boxing out of his mind.
"You're a damn fool"
"Yo."
Rocky meets a young, up and commer by the name of Tommy Gun, whom he sees a little bit of himself in, so Rocky ends up training and managing the fighter. Eventually, Tommy gets frustrated with Rocky's slow burn way of managing and feels that he's ready for a shot at the title. All the meantime, Rocky's son (who has aged about five years since the last movie even though this is supposed to take place RIGHT AFTER Rocky IV) is feeling neglected by his father as Rocky turns his attention towards Tommy instead of him. See where this is going yet? Tommy and Duke end up in cahoots while Rocky makes amends with his son.
I can understand Rocky's approach to managing. It takes time to become better at what you think you're good at. Rocky's not in it for the money, and he tries to convince Tommy that fortune and glory shouldn't be his goals as a boxer. It's about, here comes the cliche, the love of the sport. Rocky was a great fighter not only because of his strength and skills but also his heart.
The lesson presented in this mess of a movie is actually pretty poignant. When choosing a path in life, go for the one that will bring you the most happiness. Throughout college, I flipped my major around a few times. It started as English, then Business, then Education, and finally Creative Writing. English and Education kinda go hand in hand with the degree I ended up with, but Business was a left field choice that I made thinking that any degree in the arts would get me nowhere. So, I flirted with Business classes for two semesters thinking that I should be doing that instead. While I learned a lot as far as business and management are concerned, my heart wasn't in it at all.
These days, I do bitch and moan about my bachelor's degree and how useless it is. That doesn't mean that I'm not proud. Quite the opposite. I worked hard in school and had to overcome many hard times outside of school during my college years, and I still made it. I graduated college, and that's more than a lot of people out there can say. Tommy Gunn would take the easy way to the top. I'm doing it the Balboa way. I may not be the best at what I do, and it may take some time to get where I want in life, but god damn it, I'm sticking with doing what I love, and I'm sure that all the frustrations that I have now with work and getting into grad school will be compensated in the end with good karma. Hopefully.
This is unrelated to piece but still needs to be addressed. After the street fight at the end of the movie, which is actually one of the highlights of the series, Rocky and Duke have this little exchange.
Duke: C'mon pug. Touch me and I'll sue. *shit eating grin*
Rocky decks him in the chin.
Rocky: Sue me for what?
And then the movie goes to final scene with Rocky and his son. What the fuck? How about assault and battery for starters? At least that would explain why Rocky is still broke at the beginning of Rocky Balboa fifteen years later. Maybe Rocky is unsueable?
"Merry Xmas!! Look! Here comes Santa Claus!"
"Yo, yo, yo"
