Sylvester Stallone, Me, and You

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, it's a new year. I've been hanging around this livejournal thing since 2003, and I'm still none the wiser. I figured that this year I will give this journal more of a purpose in addition to being a place where I vent and whine. I'm in my mid-twenties, and I've been looking for answers about love, careers, and life in general and the normal avenues for finding these answers have proven to be unsuccessful. So, here's how I'm going to approach this. I'm going to review every single Sylvester Stallone movie that Netflix carries over the course of 2007 in the chronological order in which they were released. I am a firm believer that by viewing Stallone's movies, I might find just whatever it is I've been looking for in my life.

Sly Stallone. Look at the guy's resume. This is genius at work, folks. Stallone just may be the muse that I'm looking for. Don't worry. You'll still get your usual random, irreverent, non-sensical rants and whining from me, but you'll also get a Stallone movie review every once in a while. If you hate Stallone, don't fret. I'll try to make it funny somehow. Besides, it's Stallone. Just look at him. Just the fact that he exists is funny in itself.

So, coming soon will be my review of Stallone's 1970 movie debut, "The Party at Kitty and Stud's", later renamed, "The Italian Stallion".

A softcore porn from Sly's early days, I'm hoping that this film will answer one of my long lingering queries, that being, "How much Stallone is too much Stallone?" Will I see Stallone's tush? Probably. Will I see Sly doing the freaky-nasty with big haired porn chicks from the late 60s? It's a porn, so yeah. Will I see Stallone's dick? Stay tuned.

What else is on deck? Here's what I'm up against for the rest of the year:
Antz (1998)
Assassins (1995)
Avenging Angelo (2002)
Cliffhanger (1993)
Cobra (1986)
Cop Land (1997)
Daylight (1996)
Death Race 2000 (1975)
Demolition Man (1993)
Driven (2001)
Eye See You (2002)
F.I.S.T. (1978)
Get Carter (2000)
Italian Stallion "Party at Kitty and Stud's"(1976)
Judge Dredd (1995)
Lock Up (1989)
The Lords of Flatbush (1974)
Lovers and Other Strangers (1970)
Nighthawks (1981)
Oscar (1991)
Over the Top (1987)
Paradise Alley (1978)
The Prisoner of Second Avenue (1975)
Rambo III: Ultimate Edition (1988)
Rambo: First Blood (1982)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Rhinestone (1984)
Rocky (1976)
Rocky II (1979)
Rocky III (1982)
Rocky IV (1985)
Rocky V (1990)
Shade (2003)
The Specialist (1994)
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2-D version) (2003)
Staying Alive (1983)
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
Tango & Cash (1989)
Victory (1981)

I suffer for my art. I do this for you. I hope that my journey into the heart of Stallone's career will provide you with some insight into your life as well.