Over the Top
By Peter John Gardner
Ah, Over the Top. I hadn't seen this movie since I was a kid, and all I could remember about it was that it was about arm wrestling and that Stallone turned his hat backwards for that extra little burst of strength before a match. I thought about handing the reigns of Project Stallone over to a friend of mine for his take on the film just to see if someone else could find a fresh prespective on the same old tired themes that I've been knee deep in for the past year. The movie's about ARM WRESTLING at truck stops. There's not much I can work with there. However, when I rewatched the film myself in order to add any notes to the ghost written entry, I found that Over the Top opened up a whole new can of worms that I could explore...my daddy issues.
Plot in a nutshell: Stallone plays a truck driver named Lincoln Hawk who just so happens to be an awesome arm wrestler. He has a son that he hasn't seen in ten years that has been in his mother's care, but when the mom begins to fall ill, she sends Hawk to pick up their son from military school to be by her side. The kid still hates his dad for leaving until he sees how great of an arm wrestler he is. Yes, father and son bond over ARM WRESTLING in this movie. Anyway, bad guys from Hawk's past get involved, the kid gets kidnapped, Stallone has to win an ARM WRESTLING tournament to win back his son and his love, and everything becomes hunky dory.
My father left me when I was fourteen years old. Growing up, he was both physically and mentally abusive towards my brother and I. The good times with him were few and far between, and my childhood was mostly living in fear of getting the living shit beat out of me for the slightest mistake (Ex: in my house, accidentally breaking the towel rack would earn you a beatdown with said towel rack). When my father left and my parents divorced, I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. I was afraid of him, and now that he was out of the picture, I didn't want him in my life, not until he showed some kind of remorse for the way he treated my brother and I or at least exhibit some kind of personal growth or change.
That never happened. Since I was still a minor, the court ordered me into therapy as collateral for not wanting to see my dad. My dad and I communicated through a third party, and I could see that he was as stubborn as ever. He wanted me in his life, but he wouldn't admit or even acknowledge any wrongdoing. He kept sending me cards for Xmas and my birthday, but I didn't respond. At that age, I didn't know how to in an appropriate way.
It's been twelve years since I've spoken to him, and the cards stopped coming several years ago. Over the Top, god damn it, made me rethink where I stand with my father right now. I wondered what would happen if I were stuck in a semi truck driving cross country with my dad. Granted, he was never the tough guy, truck driver type, but it's been twelve years. He could be a badass arm wrestler now for all I know.
Stallone's character is a flawed individual. Aside from abondoning his son at an early age, he was also a drug pusher back in the day. Still, he is able to re-establish a bond with his son through the power of ARM WRESTLING. Not a perfect father-son bond, but a bond nonetheless.
I'm an adult now. I know my dad is a flawed individual, as am I. Perhaps it's time to tie up a loose end from my childhood. The only wrinkle in that plan is that I have absolutely no idea how to get in contact with him, being as how he's a very private person that never has his name listed in the phonebook. Not only that, but there are about 267,797,257,089,234,230,911 John Gardners in the world. It's hard to find the right one. I don't know if bringing him back into my life would be a positive or negative thing, and it's that fear that he's still thickheaded that holds me back from reaching out. Why bother if he's still going to treat me like shit?
You never know. At the very least, I could just arm wrestle the fucker if nothing else.
